Weekend Crime Reports

EMBODY: Who doesn’t love an excuse to dress up and pretend to be someone or something else, just for one night? Well it’s all fun and games till the law gets involved because someone takes his costume a little too far, like the guy last weekend who slashed two unsuspecting car tires valued at $350. Just because you’re a cow on Halloween doesn’t mean you can milk yourself; and just because you dress up like a knife-happy criminal doesn’t mean you can go around slicing things open, please.
PUNCH DRUNK LOVE: Saturday night, 30 minutes till last call at Panini’s a female called the police after she was reportedly punched in face for no good reason. The woman throwing punches was said to be starting trouble with the victim, then BAM. She left the victim with a bloody lip and wondering, where is the love?
DOPE DUMMY: A marijuana “manufacturer” on Cedar Grove Circle was caught last Saturday growing plants with evidence of intent to sell. Officers obtained a search warrant after “observing marijuana in plain view.” Such an obvious and forgetful mistake is perhaps why such dealers have the dumb and dull stereotype. When running a drug operation, at least close the blinds.
NOT SO HOT BOY: At 2:49 p.m. on Friday, October 28, a man who stands 5’3” tall, weighs 130 lbs and goes by the nickname Hot Boy gave his nickname a whole new meaning when he pulled out a pistol and fired at two victims leaving the Ambrose Run apartments in their car. The shots hit the car and narrowly missed the occupants. The victims sped off to a safe location and called police. Hot Boy was an acquaintance of the pair and was identified as 16 year-old Mykel Deyshawn Johnson. He is being charged with two counts of attempted murder. Hot Boy ain’t so hot anymore.
BAD JOKE: Two African Americans and a ginger walk into a cup cake boutique … What could have been a hilarious introduction reality turned to a bad joke when in real life the three men robbed a woman opening up the Crave Cupcake Boutique on Boundary Street as she was opening up the restaurant that morning at 8 a.m. last Friday.

Compiled by Tess Malijenovsky. Crime Report items are chosen from the files of the Beaufort Police Department. Please contact the police with any insider information on these cases.

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